The View From Here

Just a really quick funny blurb.  At work today Kevin, our CPO (that’s Chief People Officer), and I were discussing the merits of dieting.  Kevin had something very profound to say about it.  Basically, he said that he didn’t believe in dieting because he believes that our bodies are the temple of God.  He believes that our God is a big God and therefore deserves a big temple.  I hadn’t heard that argument for eating lots of delicious food before.  Pretty funny!

Brian

Since I have been up here in Canada I have noticed a few funny things I would like to share with you. I am sure there are things like this back home but I think I notice them more up here. The first few things are some posters and signs I saw which having an iPhone made it very convenient to take pictures of them so that you can enjoy them as well. I know that these are intended to be serious but sometimes the things we take most seriously in life can also be the funniest. Click each one to see a larger version you can read.

I thought this one was funny because when I read it a Brian Regan voice pop into my head that said, “no, really……think about it”. (If you haven’t heard Brian Regan you really must) If it can cut metal do I really have to think about what it can do to me? Can you just see some one standing there, cutting metal with the thing, getting gum on their hand, and attempting to wash it off with the water gun they have? Maybe some things aren’t as obvious to some people.

This one was funny just because the guy is holding a bomb. “If it seems unsafe……” Hmmmm. Again, another Brian Regan voice, “Well, it seems…….it seems that this thing is about to blow up in my hand.”

This was in the bathroom trailer at the site. I don’t know what is in the water but we were not supposed to drink it. That isn’t even the funny part. The funny part is that someone tried to mark out the “Do Not” part of the sign. As if people would see it and think, “oh, I guess I can drink the water now”. Also, did the person who did this really think this would be a funny prank? What is in that water anyway? I am assuming it will at least make you sick hopefully not more than that. I guess they thought that if they got their co-workers sick that they would have more work to do?

This sign was on the door at the end of hallway in the lodge at which we stayed. This was the only way to get out! You had to go through this door to get back to the lobby. I guess they think they can make more money if they trap people in the hall with their rooms. Does the “all times” refer to when you need to go through it? I opened it just enough to squeeze through. I hope that is ok.

So there you have it. Serious/Funny signs in Canada. I’ll also throw this one out there. A guy I met up there kept using the phrase “once upon a day”. I guess that is the equivalent of “one time” or “one day” but I thought it was amusing too. See? My trip to Canada was completely productive.

Brian

“Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.”

 Philip K. Dick

 I find this funny but very true especially considering the news and politics we hear about every day.

Brian

I think that june bugs are by far the most interestingly stupid bugs in the world.  I was sitting around shooting the breeze with one of my friends (yes I do have some of those) and a couple interesting questions came up.  Question number one:  don’t june bugs, all by themselves, totally disprove natural selection?  Really, think about it.  These things would have been selected out the moment they came in to being.  Just watch them sometime.  They fly into the same wall ten thousand times before they realize there is a wall there.  Or it could be that they are just horrible aviators.  “Turn to the right, to the right, to the riiiiiigggght!!!!!  Arrrgggg!!  I failed to avoid that wall that is ten million times larger than I am!!”

Anyway, question number two:  where do these things go for nine or ten months out of the year.  They just randomly appear for a couple months, fly around bumping into everything, and then disappear.   I know why they disappear.  They can’t mate!  Think about it.  They can barely fly without falling all over themselves.  Good luck, Junebugette, finding a man that can contribute to the gene pool.  I don’t know about you but I don’t recall seeing any baby june bugs around.  They can’t reproduce so they disappear.  So where do they come from come June??  I suppose I could go check out Wikipedia and find out and I probably will, but sometimes things in nature are funnier when they aren’t completely understood.

All that to say (and I know you have thought it too), JUNE BUGS ARE WEIRD!!

The End.

(I know everyone is used to my more-serious posts so I thought I would shake it up a bit)

Ok, they have proven that learning by osmosis does not work. I can’t sleep on my books at night and expect to wake up with any more knowledge than I had the evening before. So I started thinking that there must be some easier way to absorb knowledge besides reading my college books at a slow enough pace that I actually absorb some tidbit of information. That is when I thought of it. I bet that if I ate my books that I could absorb the information through my stomach. How could I have not thought of this before? It is so clear now. I could just take my reading assignments for the day, tear them out of my book, put some Bar-B-Q sauce on them and chow down. As my stomach is digesting it I will be getting more knowledge. Not only would this solve the study time issue it would also solve the eating budget issue. I would be happy to do my reading every night. The only down side to this is that I won’t have any books to sell back at the end of the semester for some extra spending cash.

As most intelligent thinking does, this line of thinking brought me to another equally as interesting. If I can eat my books to study for class why should I have to put Bar-B-Q sauce on it? Why don’t they just invent flavored paper? I know they could do it. Just think about it. When you are buying your text books you could select the flavor you want as well. “Do you want sour cream and onion or butterscotch?” Maybe they could even make different pages in the book taste like different things. Then a 20 page reading assignment could be a full course meal. Oh, the possibilities!!

Well, that is about enough of that. Until next time.

Brian